[urgent]. How to get rid of a bridesmaid.

**Asparagus and Lemons** · August 17th, 2011, 10:19 PM

Sounds like my sil too!
Write her a letter explain why she is NOT a bridesmaid.
Or
Write a status thanking all your beautiful bridesmaids for being the best, tagging them all, BUT her!

**Ca Plane Pour Moi** · August 17th, 2011, 10:27 PM

Actually, forget about the bridesmaid bit. That isn't as important as the next bit.

Let her know she isn't invited to the wedding any more. Do either of you want such a horrid person there? Well then.

**mrscricket** · August 17th, 2011, 11:09 PM

Some good suggestions here! If you really don't want her, make sure you do something about it - don't decide to have her in it just to keep the peace. 3 of my friends have all had bridesmaids that they weren't really sure about and all of them now no longer speak to the 'bad bridesmaids

'. One of them even hates the girl so much she doesn't even like looking at her wedding photos

**Kaydee** · August 18th, 2011, 05:20 AM

Try not to stress and just get it over with. Who knows, maybe she will be relieved!? It sounds like this might be the case. Good luck with it all!!
Also: I suggest you try to be as mature (and nice) about it as you can. You don't want to start a war, especially right before your wedding.

**BeautifulMadness** · August 18th, 2011, 08:31 AM

id tell her stright out...

**Beautiful Disaster** · August 18th, 2011, 09:02 AM

So why not try " Look I know you have been asked to be a bridesmaid to my wedding but unfortunately you are no longer needed, thanks for you willingness to be my bridesmaid it means alot" Pretty much slaps her in the face but also has a nice twist at the end

You could also add please feel free to wear the dress still though HAHAHAHA!!

Agree lol

**snikkers1** · August 18th, 2011, 11:25 AM

Yep you just need to tell her as difficult as that can be, could one of your other bridesmaids help you out with this perhaps? I know with my own experience I had a bridesmaid who became a real pain and I didn't really want her anymore or know how to tell and also found out she was *****ing about me behind my back anyway, so one of my other bridesmaids spoke to her and suggested "look your obviously not happy with being in the wedding why dont you let (me) find someone else", this then led to her *****ing "oh what she doesn't want me anymore is that what she said" and my bridesmaid said "No but thats what I am suggesting as I dont think either of you are happy". This then gave her an out and she opted out I enlisted another friend who I would have much rathered and it was all good, and the other girl still came to the wedding no fuss and it was all good.
Best of luck with your situation and I really hope you can sort it all out.

**Starfish** · August 18th, 2011, 11:34 AM

Yep you just need to tell her as difficult as that can be, could one of your other bridesmaids help you out with this perhaps? I know with my own experience I had a bridesmaid who became a real pain and I didn't really want her anymore or know how to tell and also found out she was *****ing about me behind my back anyway, so one of my other bridesmaids spoke to her and suggested "look your obviously not happy with being in the wedding why dont you let (me) find someone else", this then led to her *****ing "oh what she doesn't want me anymore is that what she said" and my bridesmaid said "No but thats what I am suggesting as I dont think either of you are happy". This then gave her an out and she opted out I enlisted another friend who I would have much rathered and it was all good, and the other girl still came to the wedding no fuss and it was all good.
Best of luck with your situation and I really hope you can sort it all out.

This is a really good idea. Could it work for you?

I am also thinking that your SIL may not want to be your bridesmaid anyway (it doesn't sound like you get on, so what's in it for her???), and may be relived to be given an out.

GL with it.

**Rosey** · August 18th, 2011, 12:17 PM

I know how you feel I was in a similar situation and had to tell one of my bridesmaids to beat it, it’s not a nice thing to have to do no matter your feelings towards the person.

I called her and told her EXACATLY how I felt and that I no longer wanted her to be a part of our special day, and that judging by her comments and actions it was obvious she didn't want to be a part of mine. I felt sick to the stomach before doing it (even though she showed no respect for me), but was relieved and at peace once I had done it. I offered to buy her dress and shoes off of her so then she had nothing more to ***** about, as like you it was only a couple of weeks out.

Weddings are a day to celebrate the love and commitment of two people, you don’t want ANYONE there that doesn’t wish you well. Your MIL and SIL obviously have no qualms about disrespecting you (and your DF) so my advice would be to get them out of your life. Life is too short to have to deal with people like that.

**briggsy's girl** · August 18th, 2011, 12:24 PM

i kicked one of my Bridesmaids out of the wedding party ummmm only a couple of weeks before the wedding. She was being a right biatch! was in the bridal party as i'd been in hers, she was DH's family, we were going to keep just two couples in the bridal party, and their five kids. one couple turned on us after DH's brother passed, and were saying some pretty horrific stuff about me. she rang, with a mutual friend there, saying some nasty stuff, and i just said "look, i'm over this cr@p - if you can't treat me with respect now, how the hell can you think i'd want you anywhere near the most special day of my life. I don't want you in the bridal party. Decision is made, not going to discuss it, goodbye"

her hubby rang up and DH answered the phone - he asked if he and the kids were kicked out - hubby said no, that was up to him, it wasnt' him being a twat - was his wife. the hubby (DH's nephew) got drunk that night, drove out, attacked DH (they came to blows to the point the police had to be called to remove him from the property) so he wasn't in any more either. they decided their kids couldn't be in anymore - fine, their call.

our wedding day, and our memories of it, were MUCH better having made the decision to kick her (and, by default i guess, him and their kids) out of the bridal party. i look at the photos and smile - i don't feel cr@p about it at all

just bite the bullet and do it hun - this is about you and your DP sharing your love for each other - you don't need their negative BS around you to tarnish that day

**LuluHB** · August 18th, 2011, 01:31 PM

I don't think you should do it on facebook, or get another bridesmaid or anyone else to do it for you. You're angry about her behaving in such an inappropriate way and you shouldn't lower yourself to her level. Pick up the phone, tell her that her behaviour has made you really angry/upset and that you don't want any tension on your wedding day so you think it best she is no longer in the bridal party. Acknowledge the issues between you and your future MIL and say that you completely understand if your SIL would rather not come to the wedding at all. If you and your DF agree not to have her at the wedding at all, then just tell her straight out. And your DF has to grow a spine and deal with this too - if he just avoids the conflict then he's a huge part of the problem. You are entitled to his public support, even if privately you agree to disagree on it.

**sirenz** · August 22nd, 2011, 09:28 AM

just call her and get it over with, just tell her inlight of all the comments posted about you on facebook, she is no longer entitled to be your bridesmaid.. I made the mistake of keeping one of my "bad" bridesmaids, just to keep the peace and it turned out horrible. My matron of honour had to tell this bridesmaid to leave at the reception, due to her talking crap about some of my family members! and because she had borrowed a pair of my shoes, my matron of honour made her take them off because she wouldn't being seeing me again lol ahahah

don't leave it until its too late, you will regret it.